after so so so so many time+energy consuming practices, we had our syf. and we get gold.

i dunno but i was rather satisfied after our performance coz i thought we did put up our best on the day itself. most of us were really positive and when the announcer read the final judgement, it really hit us hard. real hard. it literally swept all our smiles away. you know how it feels when you really want something so badly for such a long time and you missed it in the end?

it was bad. really bad. really.

somehow at that instant all the fond memories of the many different happy and rewarding practices came back, especially when we know that we are progressing and improving at last, especially the different session where the four of us practised together as soon as we find time, and the parts when instructors came in to help and support us. it felt as if we have let them down........somehow emotions just naturallycome in, and it diffused from person to person really fast. i guess tears was not enough at all, it's like taking meaning out of life at that very moment. you just dun feel like moving or listening to anyone.

i could still remember the times when sihui asked me if i really think we can get gwh before syf and she said she really want it. she honestly made practices more much enjoyable for me and it made me feel back to dunman again. there was actually a period in sec 2 where i survived school merely on jap and co...and for once i got that feeling back again, the feeling that practices are worth it.

i am not a person who is easily affected by results and stuff. this is my first time where i put in a lot of effort and din get equal results. it is the first time i ever feel disappointed i guess.

haiz.
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